by 
By Deborah Gale
“There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to, and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye. In the 1950s, only seven percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all…” Nora Ephron (1941-2012)
Even if COVID-19 is not normalizing much of anything, it has served as a stunning reminder that gray hair is normal. For a brief space in time, the natural woman appeared to be on the rise, and “Does she or doesn’t she?” was no longer a question. During the first half of 2020 as women took a pandemic break from hair dye, it became obvious: “Yes, she does.”
Clairol dropped that tagline in 1956. Before then–unless you were Marilyn Monroe–women who dyed their hair weren’t likely to be confused with the girl next door. Building on that success, Clairol went one step further and told women that “blondes have more fun!” Suddenly dyed hair was no longer viewed as a character deficit and dyeing started looking more like better living.
Some 40 percent of us still buy into the Clairol inspired “If I’ve one life to live…let me live it as a blonde” fantasy. And fantasy it remains because rising levels of eumelanin mean that by the age of ten, most natural blondes start to go dark. In addition, going gray is largely genetic and human hair starts graying around age 35. Chances are high that 50% of us will have 50% gray hair by the time we reach 50, but who would have even considered accepting that, for women, until COVID-19 hit? The collective decision by women to make something normal, abnormal upended a biological certainty with a de rigeur fashion choice. And it’s big, globally, the hair coloring market is forecast to hit $40.8B by 2023.
Extensive research over the decades does support the perception that women with fair hair are perceived as younger and more attractive. While the aspirational innocence of this messaging may have originally appeared benign, it made gray hair synonymous with old. The advent of teenagerhood plus the Beach Boys-inspired sea, surf and endless summer message became the perfect launchpad for youth culture to take off. While it wasn’t until 1969 that ageism was even given a name, it was already lurking and gray hair became the very visible signal that you must have decided to let yourself go.
As dyeing went mainstream, so went the ageism advance. No longer was it sufficient to question whether a woman chose to dye her hair. Next, Clairol’s “Loving Care” audaciously asked “What would your husband do if suddenly you looked ten years younger?” and then, with even more obsequiousness, women were told that if they dyed their hair, “The closer he gets, the better you look”. In shorthand, want a man, lose the gray. For most, that became worth dyeing for. Today 89% of Americans dye their hair “to enhance their appearance”.
Was this the starting gun to the gender equity race or has this trend only succeeded in locking women in a new female-only race and the only way to win is by looking good for your age?.
With hair salons open again, we’re testing the arc of acceptability. Older women have lived through times when dyeing was bad, to when dyeing was preferred, to when it became a requirement. COVID-19 has presented a unique opportunity to wake up and accept our authentic selves. We’ve had months to pare back to the essential. We’ve paid time and attention to the things that truly matter and are willing and ready to improve our situation and position in society. This is our best shot at turning the negative narrative about older women being less attractive on its pretty little head.
In 2020 silver-haired women are emerging as snow-capped mountains. Majestic, imposing, scalable, risk-takers.
No dyeing required.
Did the pandemic give you the excuse you needed to leave the hair dye alone? We’d love to hear from you in the comment section below!
Then came the young women, dyeing their hair with every color of the rainbow and others, including gray. They made coloring hair the property of all rather than what looked like the last refuge for the aging woman. And fun, too.
I dye and highlight and will continue until I’m ready to stop. I am under no illusion that I will be mistaken for a 20, 30, or even 40-something. And I couldn’t care less about that. I like this time in my life and find I laugh a lot about what I thought was carved in stone about getting older.
I think ageism, anti-ageing, and anti-anti-ageing have often started with flawed premises, such as, the decay and decline that are most associated with aging are the norm and fixed standard and any attitude against this is negative.
I could elaborate more–such is the landscape of ageing.
There are varying attitudes and actions about getting chronologically older and little about biological, social, and psychological age. I think we should pay more attention to health and well being of body and mind and not stopping what we enjoy because of a number.
You are absolutely spot on with “Such is the landscape of ageing…”
and there is no landscape because it is in a perpetual process of continual change; made even more evident by the pandemic. Here’s to healthy choices and ageing with intention, every day of our lives. Our future work is cut out for us. Time to devote ourselves to that positive instinct.
Yep, no hair dye and I seldom put on makeup of any kind. I wear sunscreen instead for my long, solo walks. My hair is in a pony tail and I wear a hat. I would dearly love a hair cut though and I don’t trust my husband to do it. I fear payback for the haircut I gave him. I am liking my new hair color which is mostly white and my hair is still thick so I have lots of it. So COVID let me/made me go natural and accept my 71 year old self. Will I go back to my hair dresser? Yes, but perhaps just for the hair cut.
Susan from Napa California
Susan! Girl after my own heart. Here’s to good haircuts!
Wonderfully written article Deb, I absolutely get where you’re coming from but sadly I’ve already succumbed (and I haven’t even received my first grey hair yet!!) think it’s because it makes me feel and look brighter and not because of what other people think about me.
Maybe I will prefer the grey canopy when it happens, I will report back!
I look forward to your next article.
I know what you mean about the “lift” and mental state must absolutely figure into this debate. I don’t have much gray, yet, but I have been inspired more by my desire to embrace my age and my authentic self going forward. I have no idea how this experiment will play out but 7 months in now, I’m giving it the old college try 🙂
Seems grey hair has become the fashion statement, not sure if that is because of Lockdown or in spite of it?
One of my kids went silver a few years back when the trend first started with Cara De Levigne and co and she looked terrific. Now three of ours have been pink/purple and or red hair recently and again, looks terrific. As for me, I’m going back to my roots because of, not in spite of the pandemic. It will be interesting to see if the global market for hair dyeing numbers start to tumble, particularly the stats for older women who represent a fair number of blonde seekers. Present company now excluded 🙂
The young look fabulous in the mantles of the old.
Mantles they can mimic but never comprehend, until later. If they get the chance to a actually “catch old”. It’s worth catching.
Thanks Fenella!
I’d love to be grey – I have a couple of grey-haired friends who look gorgeous. I would dye my hair grey if I’d trust that it turns out OK. So instead, it’s purple for me as my natural mousy, ex-blonde hair colour is duller than any grey ever will be and trying to keep it blonde just feels a bit desperate. Enjoyed reading this. Thanks Deb!
Anna, ditto to mouse. I was too, until I moved to CA out of undergrad and started worshipping at the altar of blondeness!
I’d been thinking about doing this for awhile but the pandemic forced my hand. The mouse is making a reappearance but DW, this mouse roars:)
Great article Ms. Gale but alas, I have yet to become a majestic, snow-capped goddess. You’ve certainly given me something to think about.
Jessie, you know I’ll be here waiting for you on the other side 🙂
Great article! COVID isolation has certainly prompted many women to go natural. My friends that have always done home care coloring have continued, but those of us who always went to the salon to have it done professionally are now not easily able to obtain those services. Not ready to go full on, but longer time in between appointments – not by choice 🙂
Thks Gayle and that is playing out on this side of the pond too. As you know, I bought into California dreamin’ and have been “on the bottle” blonde that is, for 43 years now. Transformation underway and I’m ready to get reintroduced to the real me.
Went grey due to stress my hair was thinning & hairdresser said cut it short give it a chance . No hairdryer. spray . And only wash x 3 a week. Once it had the recuperation time & stress dealt with. I was rewarded with long silver curls and loving that feeling of healthy hair
Sounds like a result to me! Well done you.
Brava Deb Gale! What a fascinating exploration of the history of dyeing. Would you call this development one of the the “silver linings” of Covid? Ha!
With role models like Christine Lagarde, your argument makes a lot of sense. I love this conclusion:
“In 2020 silver-haired women are emerging as snow-capped mountains. Majestic, imposing, scalable, risk-takers.”
Christine Lagarde was a trail blazer for certain! Here’s to more of these silver linings during C-19 time. Thanks Al!
The principle is great. But I don’t have the time to hang around until perceptions change – and in the meantime I need a job. I work with and among younger people, and feel more confident if I resemble their mother rather than their grandmother. Dyeing my hair means I don’t have to change my wardrobe too radically either . I’m not a natural beauty, but try to always look my best, and if hair dye and light make up works, then I ain’t gonna break it anytime soon 😆
Confidence is a biggie; it’s hard to keep up, let alone restore. And time is the ultimate currency.
Attitude and behavioural shifts, particularly with something as personal as one’s crowning glory, will take heavy doses of both.
The pandemic has “teased” out a question for us to consider.
Time will tell. It always has.
Wishing you luck with your job hunt. Thanks Dorian!
Fun and thoughtful article. Thanks Deb. I have to admit that I enjoy the Dye. Its a bit of a lift (as another commented) and a bit of a time-out that feels like it’s just for me.
A lift is often what people find lacking in their lives and need the most so I am all for lifting, everyone! I love that the word “lift” is even part of the parlance of hairdressers when they lift colour! Anything that inspires positivity and forward momentum is worth it. That said, I see COVID time as a way for some to be released from a social construct that limited a women’s ability to choose because gray meant old. That, however, has not been my experience. I have loved being blonde, for decades, but COVID has taken me back to my darker roots. I don’t have a lot of gray hair yet. It’s possible that I would feel different if I did? I’d, of course, prefer to think that this is just my pro-choice instincts kicking into every area of my life as a woman! Thanks for chiming in Val!
Wonderful article Deb! I remember hearing all the slogans from the hair color companies when I was growing up (sadly, marketing at it’s finest!). I’ve debated letting the gray show since Covid, but haven’t been able to cut the cord quite yet!
Hey Jude! The fact that you have even considered it is a good response. I told you I have cut the cord and the experiment is well underway. I’ll keep you posted on progress. D
I am enjoying the opportunity to embrace my age through the colour of my hair. It emboldens me to be more accepting of the years I’ve lived well. I am also profoundly grateful that I am not seen as much in public while my hair undergoes its change of life. Vanity lives on!
Hi Helen, as we both are well aware, it’s complicated to say the least. And yes, making the decision to hit the GO button and let the grey shine through is not for the faint of heart. Vanity, societal constructs and all the years of programming to hold onto youth, at all costs is under examination. Perhaps it is only once you are well on your way into the later chapters of life that you permit yourself this unshackling from convention? And the fierce intensity of being your best unconstrained self, in the time you have, is let loose…